It's the 6th of July 2016 and I have no plans for the first time in forever (ew did I just accidentally quote Frozen) I finished my A-levels two weeks ago, walking out of my last exam was probably one of the happiest points of my life, I'm not good with exam pressure I try to bottle it up and pretend that I'm calm, but really a wreck and have to lock myself away from people because every little thing begins to bother me.
After my SCLY4 exam I rang my mum almost crying of happiness because I wouldn't have to do another exam in that school ever again, we had a Wagamamas (dumplings obvs) and life was looking good again. After that exam had finished I went to see Catfish and the Bottlemen live (who were amazinggg, Homesick and Fallout were my two faves) I had to pack for Amsterdam as I had hardly even thought about it during exam season and I needed to actually leave for Amsterdam! That week was amazing, my mind was occupied.
But now I'm back home and officially have nothing to do for a few weeks until I go away, I don't know what to do with myself. You're probably thinking smh first world problems, but I'm just writing this blogpost to see if anyone else feels the same way? I've spoken to a few of my friends and some agree but others couldn't be happier to move on with their life. But for some reason I suddenly feel so empty and drained, I've finished my education in my hometown and will be moving across the country soon, I won't be able to randomly meet up with my friends if I'm feeling down or in need of a bit of a 'bitch.'
I felt so content with my life towards the end of sixth form and was beginning to actually enjoy it, I really didn't like my younger years in secondary school, although I don't think many people did we were all awkward, self-conscious beings so there wasn't much to enjoy, as you spend so much time trying to accept yourself whilst also trying 'fit in.'
I don't know, I guess having the realisation when you're sat alone with no revision or lack of revision guilt to occupy your mind it becomes so overwhelming when you realise that you're officially done and within a couple of months everyone will go their separate ways, move across the country and who knows if you'll ever speak again.
Obviously you'll remain close with your best friends because you have such long holidays at Uni, but it's the people that you would talk to everyday in school but wouldn't outside of school, that's what I find weird. In a few years we'll forget their names, they'll forget ours and we'll become 'someone they went to school with' on Facebook. Ugh I don't like growing up, I still feel (and look) 12.
But yeah that's all for today, hope I didn't depress you too much.